SHE HATES COFFEE, AND ALL HE WANTS TO DO IS POOOUUURRRRRR

“I may not be a human, but I am a man.”

This is a real quote from the book TWILIGHT.

“I may not be a coffee machine, but I do tell time digitally, percolate and brew coffee.”

This is a real quote by me, from my forthcoming book ROAST. It’s about an undead coffee machine named Theodore who is wrestling with the feelings of his fixture in the world as a zombie coffee machine, while at the same time trying to not let his emotions dictate that he give into his lusty emotions for Lily, a too-beautiful-for-words-loner who is drawn to Theodore despite her hatred and deathly allergic reactions to coffee.

Well, there — I wrote something after a couple months of not writing anything.

Time to celebrate with some McNuggets.