Fruitcake Grovelers

In the bakery I work at, we make a fruitcake. They are disgusting, yet they sell out. Can’t keep ‘em on the shelves. The physical appearance of the people who seem to clamor for them fall in lockstep with how I feel about this dessert: they breathe and sound like Bobcat Goldthwait while resembling Buster Poindexter in the movie “Scrooged.”