—The battle cry of idiots when faced with their own inadequacies.Whatever!!!
joefarley.com
joefarley.com
June 26 2010
June 23 2010
Goodnight, you Tyler Perry’s, you Houses of Payne…
—My nephew, Ethan(5), and his contentious review of TOY STORY 3It was brilliant, and would have been better without all the fat parents and nasty kids choking the life out of a theater-going experience. If “Silence is Golden,” then this incessant blathering was aluminum-coated bricks of feces — people are shit.
June 19 2010
When God gives you lemons… Wait, why is God giving me lemons? It’s, like, the worst fruit ever. What a dick.
June 08 2010
National Public Radio has a host whose name is Richard Steele, which, if there’s a balance to everything, means there is a porn actor who performs under the name Oliver Cromwell Baumgartner.
June 07 2010
—Ernest Hemmingway, Winner of “Yo Momma Snaps,” 1947Three fingers: It’s my favorite pour of bourbon, and the number of digits I jack-hammered last night into the tank of flesh that shit you.
When equality doesn’t equal correct: Deciding to train your new handicapped hire on the meat slicer.
June 06 2010
Rounding out the superhero versus villain story of comic book archetypes, my sworn nemesis at work listens/loves the music of Nickelback — my Kryptonite.
June 05 2010
I’m man enough to admit that women with this hairstyle intimidate me enough to start drinking again if they so much as breathed angrily in my direction.
June 03 2010
More proof the terrorists aren’t winning: you can now get your own likeness on a postage stamp. That really puts the “cunt” in country.
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I can't get my hands on the prescription amphetamines necessary to write Science Fiction, so you're stuck with my lazy attempts at comedy.
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