January 2011
8 posts
HEADLINE
CAUSE OF DEATH: Saved too many horses, rode too many cowboys.
Momma told me not to come, but she sure as shit never told me about the residual nitemare awaiting me after chasing a half tub of cottage cheese with black coffee. I’ve never had to flush a miscarriage down the toilet, but I’d imagine the melancholy of throwing a nice pair of freshly soiled underwear in the trash sits just as heavy.
Should you have been in The Dollar Tree five minutes ago and heard The Predator purring near the household products, not to worry, ‘twas just a fart snaking its way out of me. Social networking and my knack of oversharing, for better or worse.
“Look at this fuckin’ noob!”
– Serious gamer upon the arrival of his first child.
Headline I’m currently reading: APPEALS COURT AFFIRMS SENTENCING FOR GARY BABY PUNCHER. Withold your hypocritical judgement, you savages, you’d be a criminal too if your parents gave you that middle name.
The anti-deppressants I’ve been taking have turned the volume of my rational fears down to irrational, and forced my skeptic’s hand into blind enthusiasm. Meaning: I don’t think we’re doomed and my microwaved pizza tastes great!