June 2010
14 posts
“Whatever!!!”
– The battle cry of idiots when faced with their own inadequacies.
“Goodnight, you Tyler Perry’s, you Houses of Payne…”
“It was brilliant, and would have been better without all the fat parents and...”
– My nephew, Ethan(5), and his contentious review of TOY STORY 3
“When God gives you lemons… Wait, why is God giving me lemons? It’s,...”
National Public Radio has a host whose name is Richard Steele, which, if there’s a balance to everything, means there is a porn actor who performs under the name Oliver Cromwell Baumgartner.
“Three fingers: It’s my favorite pour of bourbon, and the number of digits...”
– Ernest Hemmingway, Winner of “Yo Momma Snaps,” 1947
When equality doesn’t equal correct: Deciding to train your new handicapped hire on the meat slicer.
Rounding out the superhero versus villain story of comic book archetypes, my sworn nemesis at work listens/loves the music of Nickelback — my Kryptonite.
More proof the terrorists aren’t winning: you can now get your own likeness on a postage stamp. That really puts the “cunt” in country.
Just ate three fourths of a readymade cookie cake designed for a 2010 graduation party; filling voids and my hater quotient for the day in one symbolic act of gluttony. Can society just fucking collapse already so I can watch a group of people fighting over a rat for nourishment? I’d sure feel a lot better about my own disheveled habits.
Huffington Post Sample Headline
SMILING CAUSES BONE CANCER?
Farley's Issues Test
If you’re a female who is wondering whether or not you have daddy issues, here is a good litmus test: if you find yourself attracted to me, you do.