joefarley.com

Validate me, ya crumbs

1 note &

On my way to return the shopping cart at Aldi, a guy approached me with the easy quarter/cart exchange. About to just give him the buggy as a gesture of kindness because really, what the fuck is a quarter? Noticed he had a Winnie The Pooh denim jacket on. Changed my mind. Took his change, gave him the shopping cart, crawled underneath his car, cut his brake lines, found out what elementary school his kid goes to, paid some 5th graders in cocaine to spread a Cooties rumor about him.

0 notes &

POPULAR BABY NAMES 2015 [GIRLS]

Churm

Pleurisy

Stalagmite

Hamgela

CSI: Jennifer

Qunt

Lena Steinem

Agave Busom

Riboflavin

Dennis Franz

Juice Cleanse

Krokodil

Snoop Lion

Buzzfeed Listicle

Organyck

Moist Panties

This Gluten-Free Pancake Recipe Will Literally Blow Your Mind!

Margda Pustule

Go-Gertrude

Blogellen

Honker

Donruss

Dream Catcher Hanging From The Rear View Mirror of a Sun-Damaged Red ‘86 Camaro

0 notes &

Well, yeah, my normal bowel movement is pretty much diarrhea.
Me, to the doctors treating me for Ebola after they mention I don’t seem to be phased or concerned by the discharge part of the disease.

0 notes &

This shit is worse than domestic violence. Can’t wait for his take on the extremes of the California drought by really bringing the point home with a selfie.

This shit is worse than domestic violence. Can’t wait for his take on the extremes of the California drought by really bringing the point home with a selfie.

2 notes &

Oprah is pictured here holding up a painting of Martin Luther King, Jr. done by Michael Jackson. 

Did the King of Pop imagine MLK won a Golden Ticket to Willy Wonka’s Chocalate Factory and, despite protests from Wonka, snatch the three-course meal gum still in development and pop it in his mouth?

Oprah is pictured here holding up a painting of Martin Luther King, Jr. done by Michael Jackson.

Did the King of Pop imagine MLK won a Golden Ticket to Willy Wonka’s Chocalate Factory and, despite protests from Wonka, snatch the three-course meal gum still in development and pop it in his mouth?

0 notes &

I agreed with most everything he says in this video, and he really won me over at the end by insisting the focus should be put on poverty and socioeconomic issues.

You know who’s doing most of the killing in Chicago? Teenagers and kids. These people as a whole are hopeless and floundering from the minute they begin to understand and take in what is going on around them in these neighborhoods. There’s no real manufacturing base to speak of, so when they’re in junior high, or high school, and they feel college isn’t for them, they don’t have the mills and other similar (Midwestern) industries to rely on as a means of career income like our fathers did in the 60s, 70s, and maybe up until Reagan in the 80s. Education doesn’t seem to be a city priority. School closings and students being displaced and shuttled into schools with already swelling classrooms starves possible solutions and feeds a fat-assed problem. The only structure that seems to be in place to offer a sense of belonging to these kids is the attraction of gang-life. They feel neglected at home and on a larger scale, by the city/state/society. They’re gonna embrace whoever fill those much needed human voids like screw does a thread.

Chicago is probably the most segregated city in America. There’s a Mason-Dixon line between the Northside and Southside. The state/city money flows upstream, mostly. Other than law enforcement, the neighborhoods and communities on the Southside (Westside, too) see very little political, commercial, and industrial concentration. Instead of spending God knows how much money on ATVs for officers to roam the streets, and eye-in-the-sky cameras on every square inch of the blocks- build a damn rec center, take a page from New York City and put technical high schools in place designed to train the kids who’re interested in or show a tested aptitude for, say, engine repair and building so they have a strong chance at a career after graduating. Build industries around that in or near those communities so there’s an incentive to spend money and build a life in the community. I believe that would breath communal, forward-thinking solidarity into these areas and replace the stagnant and bleak outlook which has a stranglehold on these people. Do this and I think you’ll see hope giving way to actualized positive change. Creating an essential militarized zone creates the feeling of US vs THEM. Guns are the problem here the way sugar is a problem for a type II diabetic with pancreatic cancer. Drinking six Cokes a day isn’t going to help your health, but it’ll likely only kill you a little quicker than you already were gonna die.

Immediate invasive measures are needed, sure, but I don’t think flooding the streets with cops is the long-term solution. I don’t really agree with it as a short-term solution, but maybe it would work to quiet things down, but then that’s when education and community building needs to step in where that leaves off.

I don’t know.

America and its government have a long history of holding down the black community. Every time black folks began to get together and do largely for themselves and each other, government agencies like the CIA and a J. Edgar Hoover-backed FBI found a covert way to disrupt the beginning stages of unity among them. To say modern black people and black people alone are the sole problem is extremely short-sighted and empirically untrue according to easily verified and documented history.

I strongly believe in this, but what the fuck is a facebook post gonna help?

0 notes &

I Got a Substantial Raise

After a rash of cooks quitting in the last few months, my boss is worried I might leave. As an incentive to stay put, he gave me a big raise. Keying my new wage into the computer, he muttered, “I hope this doesn’t bite me in the ass.” I’m afraid it will since I can now afford that tattoo of his wife’s face on my forearm.

0 notes &

The Power of Suggestion

I work with a guy who is currently on parole after being released from a three year prison bid on a drug conviction. He sells coke out of the house he lives in with his girlfriend and two young daughters. He tells enthusiastic stories about coke snorted on his days off. They usually start out like: “Man. Hey, so I was up until like eight in the morning the other day… ” Tattoos wrap around 3/4th of his neck. He’s bragged about killing people. When topic of his murdered brother gets brought up, he points upward, saying, “Hey, I just feel good knowing he’s in a better place.” And I’m like, “Your dead brother is in the ceiling of a restaurant?” He wears SOUTHPOLE brand clothing. There are only two kinds of people who wear SOUTHPOLE: the homeless and Ice T. The last grade he completed? Eighth. Told me he just never went back after getting expelled for pressing a knife against a girl’s back and whisper-demanding her phone number. He traded a quarter of weed to me for some antibiotics I claimed during a hotel lost and found raid. He believes the pills have, in the sense of health, the ability to cancel out his cocaine usage. Whether or not I convinced his simple mind of this for ill gotten gains is besides the point. He told me his daughter has seven cavities. “I have one and a half songs written!” — what he tells me week in week out when talking about pursuing a rap career. Is 28, but has pock marks that would make Edward James Olmos cringe. Dresses like what a stereotypical West Coast latino gangbanger would look like dreamed up by a purposefully stereotyping Hollywood casting agent. He wears a XXL Raiders hoodie and Dickies to funerals.

I think he just seriously suggested shaving my beard off would be a good idea.

0 notes &

Spotted a Dad Outfit to rule all Dad Outfits at a Rockies game.  Not pictured: a windbreaker tied around his waist, Eddie Bauer cargo pants, and sandals that were more shoe than sandal (they had like seven triangular slits exposing part of the foot along the sides).

Spotted a Dad Outfit to rule all Dad Outfits at a Rockies game.

Not pictured: a windbreaker tied around his waist, Eddie Bauer cargo pants, and sandals that were more shoe than sandal (they had like seven triangular slits exposing part of the foot along the sides).

3 notes &


Did he take selfies with dying soldiers in the background while deployed and stationed in Iraq, too?



From the article accompanying this picture:


An Army veteran risked his own life again on Tuesday in Lee’s Summit, Mo., to save a dog he saw get hit by a car whose driver did not stop. Aaron Schneider waited for three hours in the rain with the beagle until help arrived.  “Having served in Iraq, you see a lot of loss, which is one of the reasons I was determined to see him make it,” Schneider said. Schneider has plans for the dog whose trust he gained during that dreadful day. See what’s next for the beagle and how you can help.
Did he take selfies with dying soldiers in the background while deployed and stationed in Iraq, too?
From the article accompanying this picture:
An Army veteran risked his own life again on Tuesday in Lee’s Summit, Mo., to save a dog he saw get hit by a car whose driver did not stop. Aaron Schneider waited for three hours in the rain with the beagle until help arrived.

“Having served in Iraq, you see a lot of loss, which is one of the reasons I was determined to see him make it,” Schneider said.

Schneider has plans for the dog whose trust he gained during that dreadful day. See what’s next for the beagle and how you can help.