joefarley.com

NEVER FORGET

7pm

Instead of progress, I’m imagining a future where the massively wealthy people who run the world with robots build a machine to be let loose inside the pit of an arena for the express purpose of mechanized sport-rape. Since it’s my imagination, I, of course, would be the prey. Once pinned by this man-hunter, bull-fucking machine, I can almost hear the titillation from the crowd as the Jumbotron zeroes in on the merciful anguish of defeat on my face. I’m gonna make one sad John Henry-style folk hero, for sure.   

12am

The mexican restaurant I was going to eat at alone was choked with people, forcing my agoraphobic hand into a gyro, possibly suicide.

9pm

Not A Total Loss

My own stink has roused me out of bed to take some sort of action. Like Howard Hughes putting the pieces together to make a coherent court appearance, I will muster the courage to shower, possibly shave, and retire back to Hulu, finishing off Season One of SPACED. It isn’t entropy, but it isn’t exactly crossing a threshold. Boredom has its place in sobriety, which is the exact reason staying sober is difficult. Well, that, genes, and something terrible occurring during childhood. Either way, one man’s withdraw from society is another man’s dusting off his American flag outfit to drink 38 Old Styles and throw firecrackers lit off a Camel at a nine year old kid’s feet. Happy Fourth.

10pm

Mel Gibson’s Racist N-WORD Rant: VOICEMAIL

7pm

Doughy, middle-aged shirtless man reading a trashy paperback in his rusty pick-up truck; appearing like what I would imagine a modern day prophet to be? I’ll take it and give thanks, Thursday.

11am